Forwarded to me from a friend:
15 things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parent is taking their own sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly place them in peoples carts while they are not looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an offical tone, "Code3" and watch what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why cant you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera, using it as a mirror and pick your nose.